Did you know that your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is true and what is not?  If you wake up every day and tell yourself that today is going to be a great day, your subconscious mind believes it and prepares you to have a great day regardless of how your day actually starts.  Conversely, if you wake up and dread the busy day ahead, you have subconsciously set yourself up to have “one of those days” before it even starts.  It’s all about mindset.

My old golf instructor used to beat this idea of mindset into my head.  He insisted that before every shot, stand behind the ball, look at the target, and visualize the shot.  In other words, if you get in the proper mindset, your body will follow and you will be successful in your shot.

Jason Day, one of the best golfers in the world, is a prime example.  Before every shot, he stands behind the ball, looks down the fairway, closes his eyes, visualizes the shot, then steps up, and typically, he successfully hits the ball.  Many great athletes use this technique as well. They can see plays before they develop, visualize shots, where others will be, and they execute based on their mindset.  Athletes are not the only ones that can benefit from a positive mindset.

The same principal can be applied to our everyday lives.  Visualizing an awesome day and getting into the right mindset can better prepare us for those things throughout our day that may not go well.  It allows you to process the bad with a sense of positivity.  If you look at your life in its totality and not define it by the space and time that you are currently in, you may realize that things aren’t really that bad.  When I reflected on my life as the sum of all the parts, a loving family, a roof over my head, food to eat, and my overall health, I realized things really weren’t as bad as I had made them out to be; I can do this.

The day before my amputation, a family friend who is a military chaplain came to the hospital with a few items, a blanket for my wife, a bag of goodies, some necessities, and a picture frame. In this frame read two phrases, “It’s ability, not disability, that matters” and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).  She placed the frame on the window sill of my room, right in my line of sight.  I could see the frame and the words it contained every waking hour. There were many times I would glance over at the frame and not think much about it.   As my time in the trauma center and rehab hospital went on, having this near me became comforting. I started to really contemplate what those phrases meant.  As the days went on, a funny thing started to happen, my mindset started to shift.  You see, as I was coming to grips with how my life was going to change as an amputee, I had focused on all the things I would NOT be able to do anymore.  Questions infiltrated my thoughts, “Would I be able to walk properly ever again?”, “Would I ever be able to run, go back to work, bike, golf, swim, get on an airplane, or take a trip with my family?”  “Would I be self-conscious all the time about people staring at my leg, would my wife find me less desirable, would my daughter be ashamed of me or embarrassed being around her friends?” With all the unknowns, I had a hard time focusing on anything else.  But the more I looked at the words in this frame, the more my mindset shifted from the impossible, to the possible.  Those two phrases, for me went hand in hand, “ability, not disability,” “I can do all things.”  I begin to repeat these words in my head and started to develop a can-do attitude, I started to get some of my optimism back.  I looked forward to my physical and occupational therapy sessions and did everything they asked of me, even if it felt uncomfortable.  My wife made it her goal to make me comfortable, being uncomfortable.

I read inspiring stories of people who overcame devastating traumatic events, including the tragic Boston Marathon bombing.  The survivors, many of whom suffered amputations, overcame their tragedy and made it their goal to run again.  The more I learned about their stories, I began to realize the only thing that made them different from me was their mindset.

So, I started to change my attitude, “it’s not if I can do it, but rather how I was going to do it.” It’s not if I can walk with a normal gait, but how I was going to perfect it.  It’s not if I would be able to ride a bicycle again, it was how far once I did.  I removed the “if’s” from my vocabulary as they related to my physical limitations and replaced it with “I can” and “I will.”  My subconscious believes that “I” can do anything because I believe I can.  When people ask me how I am doing, I tell them that every day I wake up is a good day.  Each night I go to bed, grateful to have lived another day.

If you ever have a few bad days, try changing your mindset and use affirmations to change your subconscious. Wake up and tell yourself that today is going to be a good day and imagine yourself having a good day and what you will be doing at the end of that good day.  See what a difference that can make in your life.  You might just be surprised at the results a change in mindset can have.  Thank you, Michelle Lawson, for your kindness, compassion, friendship, and that simple picture frame that held the words that changed my mindset.